Category: Books

  • THE BALLAD OF SEVEN BASTARDS

    THE BALLAD OF SEVEN BASTARDS

    Scheduled for release in Autumn 2025, The Ballad of Seven Bastards is a dark, twisted, and brutal novel set in the Old West.

    Copper Creek, a small mining town in the mountains, is Elder Munroe’s seat-of-power. His goal is to rid the area of natives and create a New Jerusalem. However, the Elder and his flock have a dark and disturbing secret, a past misdemeanor which could see them all hanged.

    When Elijah Black, a well-meaning outsider, arrives in town, he sparks a series of events which tear the town apart, even setting the Elder’s men against each other.

    Brutal, offensive, and dark as pitch, The Ballad of Seven Bastards has violent retribution dripping from its pages!

  • FUCKED-UP BEDTIME STORIES

    FUCKED-UP BEDTIME STORIES

    When Jimmy the Chimp persuades Arnold to kill his father, it all seems to make sense. Daddy is a bully, and if he were to die, life could only be better. However, Jimmy is actually a Satanic Majesty, and once he exerts his influence over Arnold, things quickly spiral into a clusterfuck of chaos.

    Written during invasive cancer treatment, and while under the influence of increasing doses of codeine and morphine, Peter Caffrey takes Fucked-up Bedtime Stories to places where others fear to tread. It is macabre, gross, twisted and darkly hilarious.

    A FEW COMMENTS FROM GOODREADS…

    “Well written, gross, vile, depraved and original.”

    “The humor is outrageous and laugh out loud, and mixes well with the violence that will make a veteran extreme horror reader cringe.”

    “Shocking, disturbing, gross, horrible, vile … but absolutely brilliant!”

    “I can’t believe Peter Caffrey took things this far!”

    “Arnold and Jimmy have a place in my head forever, and I do not want this to ever end!”

    “This is one of my all-time favorite series, and they just keep getting better and better.”

    “Too depraved and gross! Don’t let your kids go anywhere near this bedtime story.”

    “Haven’t laughed so much since my mother-in-law fell down the stairs and broke her leg.”

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  • NONCE!

    NONCE!

    nonce (noun, slang)
    a person who commits a crime involving sex, especially sex with a child.

    Nestled between the purple haze-infused sexual revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s, and the anarchic chaos of punk rock, something strange happened in the world of rock music. Glam Rock fused high camp theatricals with driven anthems and fist-pumping tunes. Appealing to the young and impressionable, the movement even dragged in many of contemporary music’s more relevant names.

    However, the sins of the period are also well documented, with Gary Glitter and DJ Jimmy Saville being publicly exposed some years later. One name which doesn’t get mentioned as often is Danny Dazzler.

    Dazzler’s flame of fame arguably burned brightest in his own mind, but after a short-lived moment in the spotlight, his fall from grace was so odious the music industry and mass media conspired to starve him of the thing he craved most: publicity.

    Now, for the first time ever, and more than forty years after he first crawled into the public’s psyche, his story will be told.

    Nonce! is a no-holds-barred exposé of Glam Rock’s nastiest specimen.

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  • MONDO PERVERSO: WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE

    MONDO PERVERSO: WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE

    Six tales inspired by Grindhouse B-Movies of the 1960s and 1970s.

    Nympho Nurses’ Ton-up Terror

    When the nurses from St Hilda’s Hospital set off on their annual motorcycle run, the last thing they expect is to be caught up in the fallout of a chemical weapon debacle, but that’s exactly what happens. Join Fanny Batter, Ginger Bush and Dawn Double-Dee as they battle against the sex plague and a horde of twisted deformos, while also enjoying some high-octane thrills and spills.

    Zombie Cheerleaders on LSD

    When the archaeological society of Beavertown High School go on a dig, they discover their campsite is next to the Gallstonebury Festival at Turdy Farm. After Glenda Gash is bitten by a rat at the dig site and falls ill, some dropouts from the festival plan to feed the girls LSD with the intention of sexually abusing them, but when Glenda reappears, their world is torn apart.

    Star Whores: Return of the Dildo

    When the Holy Order of Star Whores are arrested in Galaxy NGC-1300, the authorities confiscate all their assets as they’ve been earned via immoral earnings. Included amongst the seized items is an entity, a God, the Lord Dildo. In order to rescue the deity, the Star Whores turn to space pirate Buzz Lovebeads who, along with his sidekicks Hands Solo and Easy Leia, goes in search of the entity … despite being chased by the evil lawman Garth Gayder who is intent on capturing the pirates.

    Girl Gang Clusterfuck in Cell Block B

    When prison warder Molly McGinty checks in for her night shift on Friday the 13th, little does she know the horrors which lie ahead. While the numerous girl gangs tool up for an all-out war over drugs, tobacco and toilet wine, Molly wants nothing more than a quiet shift. She has a lot to think about, not least her love for Prisoner 117213, also known as Big Bertha. When the carnage erupts, she faces a choice: does she follow duty or love? Which of her emotions will be stronger: her fanatical devotion to the law, or the throbbing feeling in her vagina? It’s all kicking off in Cell Block B, where the violence is hard and the women are moist

    Cannibal She-Devils of the Umpopo Delta

    Travelling along the Umpopo river, the missionaries of Saint Xavier’s are eager to spread the word of the Lord to the local savage tribes. However, their fate takes a turn for the worse when they meet Queen Bazoomas and her warrior women. Captured, abused, tortured, and pegged with hand-carved tribal dildos, they soon realise the Umpopo Delta is no place for God-fearing men. As the cannibal she-devils exhibit their taste for man-meat, the missionaries realise their only chance of survival is to become the sexual playthings of the wild warrior women.

    Wino Women’s Car Park Catfight

    When the wino women start a turf war in the local multi-storey car park, things quickly turn violent as the boozy hags battle the pissed-up slags. Despite attempts by Walter, the Car Park Warden, to restore law and order, the situation turns into a right royal shit-show when a car owned by sleaze baron Charlie Lovespuds is broken into. Finding what they believe to be imported booze, the women go on an epic binge, unaware they’re downing bottle after bottle of an illicit aphrodisiac love drug. Charlie wants payment or his drugs back, Walter wants his car-park free of winos, and the women want a good seeing to.

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  • HEE HAW

    HEE HAW

    Hee Haw is a dark, psychological horror, in which nothing is quite what it seems.

    When Colin, a middle-aged fantasist and loner who lives with his parents, snatches a girl he finds in the woods, things quickly start to unravel. While his intention is to act out his most depraved fantasies, something about the girl unnerves him. Who is the mysterious Alice, and why does she make him feel so uneasy?

    As he learns more about her, he finds himself thrust ever deeper into a world of darkness and duplicity. What is real, and why is he, the abuser, feeling so vulnerable?

    “Blending physical and emotional exploitations with a knockout ending is why this book will remain with you for a long, long time.”

    Horror Bookworm Reviews

    “Once again, this is another great read, from the twisted mind of Peter Caffrey. There are many triggers, such as child abduction, violence, profanity, blood, gore, and murder, and I loved it.”

    Leeanne Wright: Goodreads

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  • THE GOD OF WANKING

    THE GOD OF WANKING

    After accidentally reviving a dormant demon, Diego is offered the deal of a lifetime. He can have his way with any woman he wishes, fulfilling his carnal desires. All he has to do in return is provide a regular supply of sperm. Like most schoolboys, he’s in the habit of regularly wanking, so he figures he has nothing to lose by agreeing to the pact.

    Once the demon takes control, he manipulates the situation, leaving Diego trapped in a waking (or even wanking) nightmare. The daily duty becomes a millstone, dragging him down into an abyss of masturbatory misery.

    Why does the demon want his semen, and has it anything to do with the numerous elderly women who are falling pregnant and giving birth to devil babies with unfeasibly large cocks? With the clergy and their militia hunting down the source of the impregnations, Diego finds himself a victim of the chaos.

    As his world crumbles around him, his only hope is to free himself from the pact.

    ‘Diego’s sinful habit sends him on a bizzaro adventure involving well endowed demonic babies, pregnant pensioners, even more wanking and a corn effigy that can’t get enough jizz. If Caffrey doesn’t ascend to bizzaro/horror cult status I’m giving up wanking for good.’
    Simon McHardy – author of Mother Maggot

    ‘An excellently-paced, splatteriffic encounter with an trickster god, full of sodomy, corncob cocks, and evil bastards. My favorite Godless.com title to date.’
    Regina Watts – author of Bloom & Dark

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  • DOG FOOD

    DOG FOOD

    When David Miller returns home from his family holiday, what appears to be a routine security check at the airport very quickly spirals out of control and takes on a darkness he cannot fathom.

    When the bald man gets involved, the mental torture increases, and without any relief from the constantly increasing horrors, David’s grip on reality begins to crumble.

    His only hope is that someone, somewhere, will step in and stop the abhorrent torments bleak miseries he’s being forced to endure. But is he clutching at straws?

    Dog Food is the frightening tale of one man’s descent into the abyss…

    ‘Funny, frightening, surreal and speckled with grossness…’
    Sean Hawker, Author of The Captive Dwarf

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  • WHORES VERSUS SEX ROBOTS AND OTHER SORDID TALES OF EROTIC AUTOMATONS

    WHORES VERSUS SEX ROBOTS AND OTHER SORDID TALES OF EROTIC AUTOMATONS

    When the introduction of brothels manned by AI-powered sex robots threaten the profitability of the world’s oldest profession, the street girls decide it’s time to fight for their future and bring the punters back where they belong: between their legs.

    Hatching a drastic plan to ensure the Johns turn against erotic automatons, the whores take on the brave new world and inadvertently unleash a battle for survival as technology’s finest refuse to take the challenge lying down.

    Whores versus Sex Robots is a seedy, science fiction, splatterpunk, tongue-in-cheek novella. The book also includes a selection of other stories addressing the rise of the sex robots.

    WARNING: Despite the title, this book is NOT erotica, and is totally unsuitable for masturbatory purposes – unless, of course, you like to knock yourself out while reading about the violence and pain of modern society, the frailty of the human condition, the abandonment of hope, the depths of selfishness to which mankind can (and often will) sink, and some other shit which is a bit funny (if you have a twisted mind). If that’s the case, then buy this book and wank yourself silly. Otherwise, please do not interfere with your sexual apparatus while reading these stories.

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  • THE DEVIL’S HAIRBALL

    THE DEVIL’S HAIRBALL

    When Victor Holycross commits an act of heinous sacrilege at the Festival of the Blessed Virgin, he unwittingly instigates a curse which transforms his wife and daughter into the Devil’s hairballs. To seek absolution for his sin and to lift the hairy plague from his family, a penance is given: the recovery of stolen religious relics. Under pressure from a less-than-Godly Cardinal and his malicious henchman, Victor has little choice but to accept his fate.

    With a time frame of 40 days and 40 nights and a decrepit bicycle as his sole form of transport, he finds himself helped (and more often than not hindered) by a one-legged whore, a talking dog with strange sexual proclivities and an attack-nun.

    As Victor is thrust into a maelstrom of demonic confrontations, unholy alliances and duplicitous relationships, he soon discovers that the world is a far darker place than he ever anticipated.

    “If Dante’s Inferno, The Wizard of Oz, and Monty Python’s Life of Brian had a sacrilegious threesome it may look quite a bit like The Devil’s Hairball. It’s wonderfully absurd, a bit whimsical, and completely bizarre.”
    Biblioculus.com

    “One of the most bizarre story ideas I have come across in recent years.”
    Jim Mcleod – Gingernuts of Horror

    “Improper. That’s how to sum up Peter Caffrey’s raucous horror/comedy The Devil’s Hairball … dirty humour drips from every page.”
    Kendall Reviews

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  • CRUST INVESTIGATES

    CRUST INVESTIGATES

    London, the 1880s, a city torn between burgeoning affluence and abject poverty. Fear stalks the streets in the form of Jack the Ripper, the slums are suffering an epidemic of crime and depravity, and the population is a seething mass of undesirables and ne’er-do-wells. London, nay, England, needs a saviour!

    Many in the capital know of the legendary detective, Sherlock Holmes, but not as well known is that further up the staircase from his abode at 221B Baker Street is 221C, home to another notable mind in the world of sleuthery.

    Offensive, obstinate, devious and depraved, Crust brings an unparalleled cynicism to the world of paranormal investigations, aided by the fact he believes in nothing which doesn’t come in a pint bottle. With the true values of a Victorian gentleman, he sets out to do the thing he loves most: making easy money!

    When Crust is on the case, no one is safe!

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