Skip to content


Signed Books

Signed copies of many titles are currently available. However, please note the following before ordering.

  • The cost of international postage is hideous, and for overseas readers, signed paperbacks can be unrealistic. I hate having to charge high prices, but if you really want a book, I’ve listed prices to Mainland USA, Canada and Australia. If you’re outside of these regions or are ordering multiple copies, please request a current price. If it’s too high, no problem; you will not be obligated to buy anything!
  • I have pretty shit handwriting, a rubbish sense of humour, and I often lose my glasses. Therefore, inscriptions might be scruffy, offensive, and make little sense.
  • I am fond of adding crude drawings to inscriptions, such as the good old-fashioned cock and balls. I am NOT an artist, so it may appear as if someone has allowed a puerile child to decorate your copy.

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories Series One£11.00US $24.00CAN $32.00AUS $39.00
Fucked-up Bedtime Stories (Ltd Edition)SOLD OUTSOLD OUTSOLD OUTSOLD OUT
The Devil's Hairball£11.00US $24.00CAN $32.00AUS $39.00
Hee Haw£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
The God of Wanking£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
The Butcher's Other Daughter£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
Whores Versus Sex Robots£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
The Crucifiction of Bastard Jesus£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
Cock-A-Voodoo-Doo£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
Unfit for Human Consumption£10.00US $23.00CAN $30.00AUS $37.00
Dog Food£9.00US $21.00CAN $27.00AUS $32.00
Like a Tramp Yelling at Trains£9.00US $21.00CAN $27.00AUS $32.00


For overseas readers who can’t stomach the cost of a physical signed copy being shipped around the world, Bookplates are now available. These are pre-cut and self-adhesive, so you won’t need an adult to supervise you while you use scissors or glue.

Please Note: The price of bookplates also includes the book delivered from a local supplier!

When you order a bookplate copy, the paperback book will be despatched to you via your local Amazon hub, which keeps the postage costs down, while the bookplate will be sent via regular international letter post (delivery time is estimated at 5-7 working days). This makes things cheaper, and for many it’s a good compromise.

Sadly, because of the size of bookplates, all you get is a signature and basic puerile drawing. There’ll be no witticisms or lessons in dubious morality!

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories Series OneUS $15.00CAN $20.00AUS $23.00
The Devil's HairballUS $15.00CAN $20.00AUS $23.00
Hee HawUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
Whores Versus Sex RobotsUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
The God of WankingUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
The Butcher's Other DaughterUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
Cock-A-Voodoo-DooUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
The Crucifiction of Bastard JesusUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
Unfit for Human ConsumptionUS $14.00CAN $18.00AUS $21.00
Dog FoodUS $13.00CAN $17.00AUS $19.00
Like a Tramp Yelling at TrainsUS $13.00CAN $17.00AUS $19.00


The six Mondo Perverso Grindhouse Experience covers are now available as a set of 6 x 4 inch postcards. Printed on 350gsm card, these look insane when framed, or you can post them to friends and neighbours to show how truly fucked up you are!

The postcards can be purchased as standalone sets, or can be packaged with the full audio and ebook files for the total immersive Mondo Perverso Grindhouse Experience (digital files need to be downloaded via a supplied link).

These really are a thing of beauty, and won’t be around forever, so act now or live your life with bitter regret.

Please Note: Postcard sets can either be signed on unsigned (you don’t want my scrawl all over them if your intention is to send them to people in the real world). If you prefer your cards unadulterated, please make a note in the Additional Info box when ordering!

Without Audio/eBook£5.00US $9.00CAN $12.00AUS $13.50
With Audio/eBook£10.00US $16.00CAN $20.00AUS $22.00


On odd occasions, additional merchandise is made available, such as T-Shirts, Mugs, and other tat. Sadly, these are supplied via a third party and as such, I have little control over pricing.

Some products are added for a limited time following a launch or special event. Others are added for various reasons, which usually means I want one so have stuck it up as a result! Look; I’m only human!

Order Signed Books, Bookplates & Postcards

Please complete the form below to order signed copies, bookplates or postcards. Once your order is received, you will be sent an invoice, either via Paypal or SumUp, based on your geographical location. Orders will only be considered accepted once a payment link is sent and payment is made.

If you wish to order copies from outside the listed territories, or intend to purchase multiple copies, please complete the form and request an accurate price in the ‘Other Info’ box.

Please Note: Completing the form does not oblige you to buy anything. If you change your mind, don’t use the payment link. I won’t cry!