THE DEVIL’S HAIRBALL
When Victor Holycross commits an act of heinous sacrilege at the Festival of the Blessed Virgin, he unwittingly instigates a curse which transforms his wife and daughter into the Devil’s hairballs. To seek absolution for his sin and to lift the hairy plague from his family, a penance is given: the recovery of stolen religious relics. Under pressure from a less-than-Godly Cardinal and his malicious henchman, Victor has little choice but to accept his fate.
With a time frame of 40 days and 40 nights and a decrepit bicycle as his sole form of transport, he finds himself helped (and more often than not hindered) by a one-legged whore, a talking dog with strange sexual proclivities and an attack-nun.
As Victor is thrust into a maelstrom of demonic confrontations, unholy alliances and duplicitous relationships, he soon discovers that the world is a far darker place than he ever anticipated.
“If Dante’s Inferno, The Wizard of Oz, and Monty Python’s Life of Brian had a sacrilegious threesome it may look quite a bit like The Devil’s Hairball. It’s wonderfully absurd, a bit whimsical, and completely bizarre.”
“One of the most bizarre story ideas I have come across in recent years.”
Jim Mcleod – Gingernuts of Horror
“Improper. That’s how to sum up Peter Caffrey’s raucous horror/comedy The Devil’s Hairball … dirty humour drips from every page.”
AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER SOON: WHORES VERSUS SEX ROBOTS (AND OTHER SORDID TALES OF EROTIC AUTOMATONS)
When the world’s oldest profession is threatened by the legalisation of brothels manned by AI-powered sex robots, the girls off the street decide it’s time to fight back and bring the punters back where they belong: in between their legs. Hatching a dramatic plan to ensure the Johns turn against erotic automatons, the whores take on the new world and inadvertently unleash a battle for survival as technology’s finest refuse to take the attacks lying down.
Whores versus Sex Robots is a seedy science fiction splatterpunk tongue-in-cheek novella. The book also includes a selection of other stories addressing the rise of the sex robots.
WARNING: Despite the title, this book is NOT erotica, and is totally unsuitable for masturbatory purposes – unless, of course, you like to knock yourself out while reading about the violence and pain of modern society, the frailty of the human condition, the abandonment of hope, the depths of selfishness to which mankind can (and often will) sink, and some other shit which mocks humanity but is a bit funny (if you have a twisted mind). If that’s the case, then but this book and wank yourself silly. Otherwise, please do not interfere with your sexual apparatus while reading these stories.
Due for publication in early 2020: THE BUTCHER’S OTHER DAUGHTER
Jacques Dupont is the owner of an acclaimed butchery and charcuterie shop. He also has a dark and disturbing past, a secret life which he’s managed to keep hidden from the people of Sainte-Marie-sur-Ariège. When he plans to retire and pass the business on to his daughter Aurélie, his two worlds come together in a cataclysmic cluster-fuck of meat, murder and mayhem.
If you like splatterpunk, skullduggery and sausages, this could be the book for you!