Category: Collections

  • THE CUNTERBURY TALES

    THE CUNTERBURY TALES

    Are you ready for the most offensive pilgrimage ever?

    Welcome to The Cunterbury Tales.

    PAPERBACK COPIES ARE SOLD OUT!

    EBOOKS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER
    PUBLICATION ON MARCH 29, 2026!

    Featuring 24 pieces, The Cunterbury Tales follows some of the world’s worst pilgrims on their journey to venerate the withered spleen of Saint Augustine. Combing verse and prose, this book will be enough to make Chaucer rise from the dead and pluck the eyes from his head.

    Including a Zookeeper with a penchant for bestiality, a Courtesan with a conniving approach to business, a Midwife with murderous intent, a Lunatic following God’s commands, and a Butcher with an interesting sideline, plus many others, these tales are gross, puerile, offensive, and also raise money to help fight cancer. Supporting the Lingen Davies Cancer Fund, every penny of profit from The Cunterbury Tales goes to the charity.

  • MONDO PERVERSO: WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE

    MONDO PERVERSO: WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE

    Six tales inspired by Grindhouse B-Movies of the 1960s and 1970s.

    Nympho Nurses’ Ton-up Terror

    When the nurses from St Hilda’s Hospital set off on their annual motorcycle run, the last thing they expect is to be caught up in the fallout of a chemical weapon debacle, but that’s exactly what happens. Join Fanny Batter, Ginger Bush and Dawn Double-Dee as they battle against the sex plague and a horde of twisted deformos, while also enjoying some high-octane thrills and spills.

    Zombie Cheerleaders on LSD

    When the archaeological society of Beavertown High School go on a dig, they discover their campsite is next to the Gallstonebury Festival at Turdy Farm. After Glenda Gash is bitten by a rat at the dig site and falls ill, some dropouts from the festival plan to feed the girls LSD with the intention of sexually abusing them, but when Glenda reappears, their world is torn apart.

    Star Whores: Return of the Dildo

    When the Holy Order of Star Whores are arrested in Galaxy NGC-1300, the authorities confiscate all their assets as they’ve been earned via immoral earnings. Included amongst the seized items is an entity, a God, the Lord Dildo. In order to rescue the deity, the Star Whores turn to space pirate Buzz Lovebeads who, along with his sidekicks Hands Solo and Easy Leia, goes in search of the entity … despite being chased by the evil lawman Garth Gayder who is intent on capturing the pirates.

    Girl Gang Clusterfuck in Cell Block B

    When prison warder Molly McGinty checks in for her night shift on Friday the 13th, little does she know the horrors which lie ahead. While the numerous girl gangs tool up for an all-out war over drugs, tobacco and toilet wine, Molly wants nothing more than a quiet shift. She has a lot to think about, not least her love for Prisoner 117213, also known as Big Bertha. When the carnage erupts, she faces a choice: does she follow duty or love? Which of her emotions will be stronger: her fanatical devotion to the law, or the throbbing feeling in her vagina? It’s all kicking off in Cell Block B, where the violence is hard and the women are moist

    Cannibal She-Devils of the Umpopo Delta

    Travelling along the Umpopo river, the missionaries of Saint Xavier’s are eager to spread the word of the Lord to the local savage tribes. However, their fate takes a turn for the worse when they meet Queen Bazoomas and her warrior women. Captured, abused, tortured, and pegged with hand-carved tribal dildos, they soon realise the Umpopo Delta is no place for God-fearing men. As the cannibal she-devils exhibit their taste for man-meat, the missionaries realise their only chance of survival is to become the sexual playthings of the wild warrior women.

    Wino Women’s Car Park Catfight

    When the wino women start a turf war in the local multi-storey car park, things quickly turn violent as the boozy hags battle the pissed-up slags. Despite attempts by Walter, the Car Park Warden, to restore law and order, the situation turns into a right royal shit-show when a car owned by sleaze baron Charlie Lovespuds is broken into. Finding what they believe to be imported booze, the women go on an epic binge, unaware they’re downing bottle after bottle of an illicit aphrodisiac love drug. Charlie wants payment or his drugs back, Walter wants his car-park free of winos, and the women want a good seeing to.

  • WHORES VERSUS SEX ROBOTS AND OTHER SORDID TALES OF EROTIC AUTOMATONS

    WHORES VERSUS SEX ROBOTS AND OTHER SORDID TALES OF EROTIC AUTOMATONS

    When the introduction of brothels manned by AI-powered sex robots threaten the profitability of the world’s oldest profession, the street girls decide it’s time to fight for their future and bring the punters back where they belong: between their legs.

    Hatching a drastic plan to ensure the Johns turn against erotic automatons, the whores take on the brave new world and inadvertently unleash a battle for survival as technology’s finest refuse to take the challenge lying down.

    Whores versus Sex Robots is a seedy, science fiction, splatterpunk, tongue-in-cheek novella. The book also includes a selection of other stories addressing the rise of the sex robots.

    WARNING: Despite the title, this book is NOT erotica, and is totally unsuitable for masturbatory purposes – unless, of course, you like to knock yourself out while reading about the violence and pain of modern society, the frailty of the human condition, the abandonment of hope, the depths of selfishness to which mankind can (and often will) sink, and some other shit which is a bit funny (if you have a twisted mind). If that’s the case, then buy this book and wank yourself silly. Otherwise, please do not interfere with your sexual apparatus while reading these stories.

  • COCK-A-VOODOO-DOO AND OTHER TWISTED LOVE STORIES

    COCK-A-VOODOO-DOO AND OTHER TWISTED LOVE STORIES

    Cock-A-Voodoo-Doo and Other Twisted Love Stories is a collection of three novelettes: Cock-A-Voodoo-Doo, Dolls’ House Diabolic, and The Perils of Dating Celine.

    Cock-A-Voodoo-Doo

    Based on a true story which took place during 1970, in an Irish Catholic household in North London. Never discussed after the sorry shambles unfolded, and only referred to by the family involved as ‘the Christmas incident’, the events of that time had a profound impact on a young and innocent boy whose interests were previously limited to football, fishing and building box carts out of spare planks and pram wheels!

    Now, Peter Caffrey lifts the lid on his own personal Pandora’s box and tells the full story of Marlene, Pastor Reginald, and the ungodly incidents which warped his young and innocent mind.

    No names have been changed, because there are no innocent parties.

    The story includes an in-depth Author’s Note to help set the scene for the children of the modern age, who believe the world has always been filled with shoe shops, on-demand streaming content, and gluten-free muffins.

    Dolls’ House Diabolic

    Dave loved Susan. He really loved Susan. Nothing made him happier than when she agreed to marry him. As he set off to Bangkok on his stag party, he promised her one thing: he’d avoid the go-go bars. However, when the other stags insisted on visiting a pussy show, Dave ended up being dragged to the Dolls’ House.

    Dolls’ House Diabolic is the story of one man’s battle with the biggest demons: his own guilt and shame. Will Dave and Susan live happily ever after, or will one random act of fate forever condemn their future?

    The Perils of Dating Celine

    After watching a TV Chef’s hour-long special on all things pasta, the urge to purchase a pasta machine becomes all encompassing for Terry. After tracking down a second-hand one on-line, he makes the purchase, and when the machine arrives it includes a note from the mysterious Celine.

    There’s something about her note which he finds intriguing, and after fantasising about contacting her, he bites the bullet and makes the call. When they finally meet, all he knows about Celine is that she loves pasta, and she has a mysterious disfigurement.

    The Perils of Dating Celine is a modern-day love story; a glimpse into what could happen if people put aside concerns about random interactions with strangers, and simply followed their hearts.

  • UNFIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION

    UNFIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION

    Unfit for Human Consumption is a 12-story collection which serves as a tasting menu for Peter Caffrey’s twisted world. An insight into his Mondo Perverso, many of the stories are new and previously unpublished, while some are from less well-read periodicals or anthologies.

    The tales cover a wide gamut of styles and content, and include the strange and demented, the darkest of dark humour, and a dose of utterly unhinged absurdity!

  • LIKE A TRAMP YELLING AT TRAINS

    LIKE A TRAMP YELLING AT TRAINS

    When I was a boy, there was a tramp who lived in a derelict factory near our house. On the way to school, we’d often see him, standing at the side of the road, staring at the spot where the train tunnel ended and the tracks emerged into the outside world. As the trains thundered from the darkness into the morning light, he’d launch into a tirade of nonsensical babble, shouting curses and abominations.

    I understood him. Not his words, not his shouts and curses, but his purpose. I too shared a need to expunge the detritus which built up in my head. I required a cathartic expulsion of the madness and chaos which festered in my thoughts.

    This collection is just that: a medley of insane and inane shouts and screams, a collage of verbal ticks, a cornucopia of inky doodlings. Some are random ideas which sneak into my brain, others are heart-felt and personal reflections, and a few are just humorous cul-de-sacs. Some are the germs from which stories or novels have grown, but most went no further than the form in which they are replicated in this dosshouse of words.

    A few of you might find something which amuses, and others won’t. Whichever group you fall into, I want to thank you, because you are my train, thundering out from the darkness of the tunnel, and I’m just a random tramp, screaming abuse at you.