SHORT STORIES

Like a Tramp Yelling at Trains

  When I was a boy, there was a tramp who lived in a derelict factory near our house. On the way to school, we’d often see him, standing at the side of the...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #12: King Arnold

  The big day has finally arrived for little Arnold. After so many adventures with Jimmy the Chimp, it’s time for Arnold to be crowned. He has to choose his queen and enjoy the...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #11: No Pain

It’s Arnold’s birthday, and all he wants is for Mummy to come home and life to return to normal. Jimmy the Chimp just wants Arnold to stay calm and keep his head down, making...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #10: Mouse Trap

  With Mummy still in the special hospital, and Daddy gone, there’s no one to look after Arnold. Faced with a spell in a local authority institution, he’s saved at the last minute by...

Ich Bin Ein Boiliner – Unamerican Trash

  John F Kennedy’s assassination is a moment in history which many claim they’ll always remember (especially if they were alive at the time). There have been many theories about his death, but Ich...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #9: Bully Beef

  After dealing with Daddy’s new squeeze, Beryl, Arnold and Jimmy the Chimp realise they’re facing an inevitable confrontation with the big man. However, a falling out between the two friends results in things...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #8: Mister Mummy

  Mummy is away at the detox centre, and Daddy’s spare time is spent visiting her to offer moral support. Left all alone, Arnold is in danger of disappearing down the rabbit hole of...

Cock-A-Voodoo-Doo

  Based on a true story! It happened in 1970, in an Irish Catholic household in North London. Never discussed after the sorry shambles unfolded, and only referred to by the family involved as...

Fucked-up Bedtime Stories #7: Gin Rummy

With Daddy’s focus on Mummy’s recovery from alcoholism, Arnold is left alone to have his adventures with Jimmy the Chimp. After watching Game of Thrones, Arnold persuades Jimmy they need a crossbow, and a...

The Perils of Dating Celine (Free Ebook)

  After watching a TV Chef’s hour-long special on all things pasta, the urge to purchase a pasta machine becomes all encompassing for Terry. After tracking down a second-hand one on-line, he makes the...